When I first came to Cathy, all I wanted was someone to talk to. I’d had years of therapy and given up on it as something that would never change the way I felt and thought. I had very little expectations of what I would gain, It was the very last bit of fight that I had left to fight back against mental illness. The more time I’ve spent with Cathy the more I think that our first appointment must have been ‘Challenge accepted – bring it on’ to her. Cathy has always been so patient with me, she’s never pushed me into exploring anything that I haven’t been ready for. As soon as there’s a hint of resistance she backs away. So not only has Cathy given me a voice, she’s shown me that my decisions, my feelings and fears are respected. We’ve been working together for 2 years and I have gained so much in that time. It took a long time for me to trust her, but Cathy never gave up on me. She showed me what it is like to be accepted as I am, to be respected and of value. As a result, I have managed to build relationships with other people, and to grow a life that I love.
One of the ways Cathy and I would work in the beginning would be with play, and art. Her reassurance and encouragement mean I discovered art as a way of expressing myself and enjoying myself. Cathy’s kindness, compassion and patience has helped me change my internal monologue. I see my value. She’s shown me through her commitment that not everybody leaves, and not everybody hurts you. So I learnt that I could trust others, and have been able to let other people in. We’ve learnt about trauma, and how to reset myself when I am upset. We built a plan of things to do so that I could manage my emotions independently, but I still know I’ll never be alone in anything.
More recently we have been using reiki as a means of healing. The combination of reiki and talking therapy has been magical for me. I’ve managed to actually ‘let go’ of events. It’s weird, I didn’t know what it was like before to be able to let go of something. The only way I can describe it is that it feels like the events didn’t happen to me, they belong to someone else and they cannot hurt me anymore. These are things I’ve been carrying for over 25 years, events and learnt behaviours so deeply ingrained in my being that their absence is little short of miraculous. I’ve made more progress in the 9 months we’ve been working this way than in the past 15 years of therapy.
I am so grateful to Cathy for all the time and energy she’s put into helping me heal and grow. A thank you never really seems big enough.